Friday, February 17, 2012

Surgery

Dude. Surgery is like working on a truck. If it's broke, fix it.

Naturally.

13 yr old Nephew: My hands are just naturally easy to clean.
Jay: Dude. That's because you don't do anything.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What Really Made it Special

me: Why did you send me flowers?
Jay: Because you made my birthday so awesome!
me: Are you sure it wasn't because you got to make out with RC*?
Jay: Well, maybe that a little...

*names have been initialized to protect the not-so-innocent

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Landing Right

I'm pretty certain I learned to crash from "The Dukes of Hazard."

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Titles

Me: This beer sucks.
Jay: But it's the Silver Bullet. It says so right there.
Me: It doesn't make it suck any less.
Jay: But it's THE. SILVER. BULLET.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Jay on anatomy, physics and, flexibility

"How do you actually twist your body without your butt cheeks messing your legs up?"

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Friday, April 1, 2011

Conversation With A 12 Year Old

12 yr old: I love Eminem and Dr Dre. Eminem is not his real name but I don't know what it is and I don't know why he changed it...blah, blah, blah, blah {for like 10 minutes}

Jay: DUDE! Why is all that important?

12 yr old: Because people my age have to know what to do to be able to make it big...

{Cue Jay's head exploding clean off of his body}

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Observations

Me: Why do hikers STILL go hiking unprepared? Seems like everyday they're having to rescue someone from the GSM backwoods...

Jay: They go in thinking there's a Burger King nearby.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Safety First

"I'm going to drink a huge glass of wine and operate heavy power tools."