Observations

Me: Why do hikers STILL go hiking unprepared? Seems like everyday they're having to rescue someone from the GSM backwoods...

Jay: They go in thinking there's a Burger King nearby.

Safety First

"I'm going to drink a huge glass of wine and operate heavy power tools."

Options

You can have any color you want from me as long as it's black.*


*Jay told me last night that was a Henry Ford quote...

If it Falls Down, You'll Know Why

So that hole in the wall, I jammed napkins in it and then covered it with putty...

Crossing the Border

My phone is Canadian. It doesn't understand English very well.

Gender Differences

Me: Why are they remaking Bambi and acting like it's such a great children's movie? His mother gets murdered and he grows up an orphan.

Jay: Bambi was a boy? That's a girl's name.